Caring for Yaya

How the parent perceives her role to her children seems to have a direct impact either in a positive or negative relationship with their yaya. Parents who are detached from their parental role are more likely to be detached from the yaya. It's almost as though the parent "fulfilled her duty" to produce their children, but now, someone else will have to raise them. Perhaps in time, someone will research and publicize the effect on children of being raised primarily by yaya's. Teachers and therapists know the problems these children have.

Children react to the emotional neglect of parents "particulary at the very earliest age of infancy," Age where "basic trust" is established and must lay the strongest foundation to the next stages of development( Erickson's psycho-social theory explains ). If parents do not act as the primary caregiver to their child from the beginning of life, patterns of problematic behavior can arise where raising children can become too difficult for other people (new yaya, other family members, teachers..etc) to handle. If a beloved "yaya" is involved in such families and leaves, often a child's sense of security leaves too. It is sad to hear a nanny or yaya tell of her decision to leave a family as she had been placed in a mother's role and she knows she can not be there permanently for the children. She usually leaves to preserve her own emotional health, although sincerely grieving for the children.

For guidance in Infant Toddler and YAYA care, please contact Menchit Ordoveza, RI Educaregiving Resources. Tel. (632) 852-5778; (0917) 8071064. E-mail: dearestnanny@yahoo.com. You can also check www.educaregiving.blog.com